Your Turntable Rhapsody
by Sejour Avec Moi
Summary: Cartoonist Jou barely enjoys a life that’s already too complicated. What can you do when your DJ manwhore best friend Ryuuji says he is in love with you but you like your story-boarder Seto Kaiba? AU otogixjou, kaibaxjou


**Your Turntable Rhapsody**

**Cartoonist Jou barely enjoys a life that's already too complicated. What can you do when your DJ manwhore best friend Ryuuji says he is in love with you but you like your story-boarder Seto Kaiba? AU**

**(I'll never come up with such a fail title again, I promise)**

**I couldn't capture Ryuuji's super smart side that everyone writes so well. I just got the slut side. My Ryuu muse is Shan (believe it or not) and she is not a ho! She isn't. Really. :shifts awkwardly:**

**Jou is too exasperated in this, I know. I wanted him to be mature, like he actually thinks and stuff, but he came across… :flails:**

**I really just want to write everyday, people. I'll take this down if you don't like it, though.**

**For Becky and Carly, who poke me and tell me my shit is good even when I know it isn't. and for the graduates (bumming kouhais and the sempais), who tolerate your Kiki leeching everything. We should have just passed out in the bathroom. And possibly taken one of the aliens. I heart us for surviving that grad.**

* * *

"…and that's why you should have a threesome."

Ryuuji slyly plucked a cigarette from Katsuya's pants and lit up, and when his best friend opened his mouth to protest, he crawled onto his lap and grinned coquettishly at him.

"Yer a manwhore," Jou rolled his eyes and said, disgusted, too used to his friend to shove him off. Otogi passed a hand through his head of thick, jet-black hair and blew smoke rings into the blond's face.

"You passed up the offer. That doesn't mean everyone doesn't want a piece." Jou looked at him incredulously, and the male in his company donned a vain grin before continuing.

"And some people can't wait for individual attention. They're willing to share with someone. And that is how last night happened."

"Yer too much," Katsuya muttered, burying his boyish face in his hands. Otogi, in turn, snaked his hand around the boy's lean neck and threw his head back to look at the ceiling.

When he next drawled, it was like he was talking to no one in particular. Jounouchi hated when he did that- when he could make someone feel like they were not in the room.

"Says Katsuya, who can't make up his mind. Says Katsuya, who's looked at nothing but men since I poked him in the ass a bit." He took a break to take a drag, and the cherry glow lit his aquiline, pointed features. His green eyes flickered on him, and suggested that they were bored and enthralled, all at once. Jou swore. He also hated how the gambler could wear multiple expressions. The pink lips bent into a genuine smile. Another pall of smoke flooded the blond's nostrils.

"You're almost as bad as me, if not worse. I mess around with what's pretty. You want quality in your goods." He then glanced to the ceiling again, but in a more exasperated fashion. Katsuya ground his teeth.

Otogi Ryuuji is his best friend. Otogi Ryuuji is the only person he's let see his father drunk. Ryuuji is the only person he's let mother him, because his own fucking walk out mother wouldn't make a right job of it with her thin smiles that plainly told him he was screwing up every time he inhaled air. Otogi has several of his pants, combat boots, his virginity, videogames, his eternal trust, his porn and three of the simultaneously best and worse years of his life. Ryuuji is a horrible gossip and he gambles and goes to all the parties he does and DJs and has lots and lots of erotic sex. And feels the need to tell him about it. All the time.

Ryuuji apparently loves him, too. The blond knew their relationship was off a bit.

He really just wanted his shit back. The proverbial ass-cherry he knew was gone. But his DVDs and boots he would prefer to see again. He couldn't lie and say that his friend was stretching out his pants, because he was two sizes smaller than him. But he still wanted that back in his house, too. Back on his damn body.

"You get so upset over nothing. It's not like I'm wrong."

Katsuya just looked at him.

"Is this a one of your 'be boring' days?" Otogi asked flatly.

Jou shoved him off his chest, responding, "This one of yer fuckin' run-mouth days?"

Ryuuji laughed, hard,

"Testy, testy." He planted a kiss on the teenager's jaw. Katsuya stiffened. "I want Chinese," he said as he slipped off the bed- he had such a fucking seductive way of moving to do EVERYTHING, it was so annoying- "I'm ordering you the beef lo mein you like so much." He winked at him.

There was no reason for that goddamn wink. Bossy son of a bitch. Jou looked at his watch, only to realize that it had stopped working when Ryuuji pushed him into the pool at the last rave they went to. He had failed to replace it because he was too poor. The DJ had said he would purchase him a new one, and with his busy schedule of fucking and partying and going to casinos, he never got around to it.

Hopefully. he would drop the super-queer act when he came back. Then he would probably go into intelligent-banter mode. Or mother mode. Or actual funny joke mode. Or EXCEEDINGLY vain mode.

With his own unpredictability, his versatility, he wondered why Otogi ever bothered messing around with him or calling him a friend. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was boring, his father was a mess, the only good thing to happen to him was his sister and he drew comics for a living. He barely scraped through high school because he was lazy. His favorite cartoon was Bugs Bunny, and he knew, in his hearts of hearts, that he was like Elmer Fudd. Bugs reminded him of Otogi. Flighty, elusive and teasing.

He rubbed at his eyes as though to scrub away the thoughts of his best friend- the best friend he was thinking about too often. He felt a bite where his neck met his shoulder, and slender fingers feel their way up his shirt.

"This Kaiba guy can't be better looking than me. And I doubt he's good enough for you."

_Vain fucker mother combo, _the cartoonist thought, and was surprised when his mental tone of voice didn't sound as harsh as he intended. He grabbed Ryuuji's hand and forced it gently off of his abdomen.

"_I'm not a sentimentalist, and I'm too sexy, so I'm only going to say this once."_

_He had been so tired, looking into those jade eyes. He was wondering why his friend hadn't gone to shower yet. He always showered after they… did that. He was such a queen he had to keep himself clean at all times. He remembered asking the teen one time if he took a bath after every time he peed, and then laughing juvenilely after. He couldn't quite rehash Otogi's response. It was a witty putdown that somehow simultaneously incorporated the fact that he was god's gift to everything that had hormones and stood on two legs._

"_Wha," Katsuya slurred, sounding far too much like his inebriated father._

_He slipped off into sleep after that, and thought he dreamt the three words._

Jou sighed. It had been a long time ago. It was time to give Ryuuji a break. He had done nothing but snap at him since he came to spend the evening.

"What makes you so sure your mug's so nice to look at?"

The DJ smirked, craning his neck and crooking his finger, inserting it into the collar of his shirt and dragging it down his elongated neck to display a row of red marks.

"These," Ryuuji smirked cockily, bottle green eyes issuing a vicious challenge. Damn pride.

Jou blinked stupidly, looking as though he didn't get it, and then he tackled his friend onto the bed, guffawing loudly.

_I'm lucky, _the blond thought, hardly paying attention to the protests of vanity that Otogi usually issued when he was in a situation that compromised his beauty, _I'm lucky the shit puts up with me. Fucker could do so much better._

* * *

Well, to be honest with you, Jou is really dumb. He's stupid. Not the sharpest tack in the box. Whatever.

But he's interesting. He doesn't bore me. I sleep with people and then I don't want to see them again. I don't do awkward. Too sexy for awkward. Too busy for bonding. Things are fast paced with me. At least with people. With thinking and planning, I'm careful with that. With self-image. I live in the moment for things I haven't thought about very late into the night. But with people, it has to be instant. They have their uses, and then they leave.

He's stupid, but it'd be a bitch if he ditched me first. He's the person I want to have around for a really long time. We went to the same places and knew the same people, and I got really caught up in how pretty he was and all of a sudden I was spending all of my time with him. It's wasn't a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. He has smart moments. I let him touch me a bit (don't get to touch stuff like this everyday), and then I started noticing his personality, and then I'd act like a bitch if I went a day without seeing him. He was a pretty face at first, so I don't remember how all of this happened exactly. I just felt like seeing him after we slept around. And then I fell in love with him.

Saying it sounds really corny, because I don't love people. Betting and pricing and revamping stuff is a go. I've always been into taking chances and how stuff looks. But paying attention and actually caring is hard. My face requires attention. Not people.

He's nearly as good looking as me too. Don't get me wrong. When I say 'nearly', I obviously mean he has a long way to go. But he's not as far behind as other people. He's natural about it, too. Anyone that doesn't try and can catch my eye for just a second is just worth keeping an eye on for a while.

He's not tacky. He reminds me that there are others around. As dumb as this sounds, he's a really real person too. He's raw in a way I thought was unattractive in others. But it just makes him whole-ish. And if he's whole, that means there's more for me to be interested in, right? More for me to touch?

I'm trying to get used to saying that I love him. It's a really not me thing to do. I hate tasteless stuff like this. And it's demanding.

His hair is covering his eyes. He's looking at me like he wants to eat me (doesn't everyone?) And this is my favorite position. Except I like topping.

And then he looks like he's thinking. He smiles at me- he's shit poor, and I don't know why his teeth are so nice looking since he can't afford a super dentist (didn't I tell you he doesn't have to try?). And then his eyes are confused. It doesn't look right with his smile.

I'm so affected (I admit it), so I don't get how he just lets every emotion get on his face. He's lucky they all look good on him, though. I probably wouldn't like him as much if they didn't.

He asks, "why?"

I'm fabulous, incredible, gorgeous, all that crap. I said that I wanted to get used to saying that I love him. I don't go back on decisions, normally.

Not when they can benefit me. And get me into Katsuya's pants.

My voice is awesome anyway, so it's not like I can actually sound stupid saying it.

"Because I love you, dumbass."

Yeah, and I expect to be rewarded for stuff like that. His lips are near my nose…

And then they're on mines in seconds.

Like he could resist me. That's totally why he's responding.

As if I could be any more badass.

* * *

_**After-Chapter Special:**_

_**I'll do Seto next chapter, I swear. I'm infinitely better at his character.**_

_**As for Otogi? I FAIL! I FAIL SO HARD! I HATED THEIR INTERACTION SO MUCH! THIS IS SO EFFING HARD TO WRITE!**_

_**I need an Otogi-beta to help my Otogi win. Because he fails right now. I'm looking at him right now, and I'm like, no. You should see him in my head. He's pouting sexily and flipping his hair and indignantly walking in the next direction.**_

_**This is 4kids's fault. They make my fanfiction fail. D: **_

_**So! This entire chapter was written over two days while listening to Sad song by Au Revoir Simone on repeat.**_

_**(And you needed to know that random fact because…?) **_

_**Notes: I failed to actually GO anywhere with this chapter, so I established a relationship. Or the MO of the relationship. It's due to fall apart xD**_

_**(Am I talking too soon?)**_

_**Otogi really genuinely does love Jou. I'll get into their history soon.**_

_**I'm too attached to the image of Ryuuji being a DJ. I did it for another fic (if I mention the name I'll get my ass kicked because I haven't updated) and I wanted to stay with it. Because its something I can see him doing. **_

_**I need suggestions for this so badly. I'm so sorry it's so bad (I was actually nervous to post this. I hate the aimlessness of it). I'll produce a kickass chapter if you just tell me what to fix ('everything' doesn't count as a valid response .)**_

_**Jou's going through a lot at the moment. I'll get into that next chapter. **_

_**(Wow, Carousel-chan, so many promises you're too lazy to keep)**_

_**The beef lo mein mention was so for you, Shan.**_

_**On a shittier note, I manage to misspell a million things in these little end notes. But I don't eff up that much in the actual fic.**_

_**Does that make me fail?**_

_**Or is it because I'm so eager to post?**_

_**O.O**_

_**xThe.xMisconstrued.xCarousel does not own Yuugiou, because then she would have killed 4Kids with bright green fire.**_


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